BikerBob Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Hi, Pinched this from another site, funny and mainly true. Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Crazy and Wildman. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Well said Bob, keep them coming. Jim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Im concerned about your choice of reading matter and your state of mind!. Yes its true we only need to be aware of the metalwork in our live, dont here of many children actually starving anyway yhe police would let you know. SHWBO mostly sympathtic to my needs, also does look ok at 0800 or so I tell her but of course were never believed. DAVE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Bob I dont know how you keep coming up with them but you do. well done feckin brill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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