BikerBob Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 Hi all, Another one for you at Xmas Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK: 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT. 2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! 5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER. 6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE. 7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU 8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. 9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING. 10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES. WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Did I read that sign right? Keep going there is more! In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a second-hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 always golfers were a bit peeeeeeeeeed off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 Old golfers never die, they just loose there balls. The meek shall rule the world, if thats ok with everybody else Father Christmas comes once a year. Virginity is rather like a balloon, one prick and its gone!. Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dave turbo g Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Sign on a bike workshop wall LABOUR CHARGES £15 per hr £20 if you watch £25 if you help In other words GTFO Dave G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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