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New Welsh Festival


grollie

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A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer.

 

The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from?

You sound English",

 

"I'm from across the severn," replies the man nervously.

 

"What do you do, just across the Severn?",

 

"I'm a taxidermist."

 

"What on earth is one of those?",

 

"I mount animals."

 

"Its alright boys," shouts the barman, "he's one of us".

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David Cameron was looking for a lady of the night. He found 1 such girl in a local pub. He said 'I'm Prime Minister of England, how much would it cost me2spend some time with u?'. Her reply, 'Mr Prime Minister, if u can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, your dick as hard as the times we're living in &keep it rising like the price of petrol, &scr. ew me the way u have the pensioners, then it won't cost u a f*****g penny"

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You’re getting a bit off track there Ken this is supposed to be a joke thread about sheep sh***** not factual

 

Michael and Patrick were coming out of a pub in Wales one evening when Mick spotted a Sheep with its head stuck in the railings.

"Look at that Paddy, we can’t miss a chance like that" says Mick

So Mick walks up behind the sheep, drops his trousers and does his business.

Mick then says "Okay Paddy its your turn next"

So Paddy drops his trousers and stuck his head in the railings......

 

Couldn't leave the Irish a loan for too long

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An Irish priest was sent to his new parish, in Liverpool. He arose very early his first morning and decided to take a walk to familiarise himself with the local area. He saw something strange in a field nearby. There were three men in the field having sex with some poor sheep. He was shocked, and then he saw an elderly man sitting in the corner of the field who appeared to be masturbating. He ran back down the road to see if he could find a Police officer. No luck there, so he decided he would ring them on his mobile.

P.O "Allright, what can I help you with"

The priest explained to the Police Officer what he had seen.

P.O " Ok Father, tell me were the 3 men wearing Everton football Jerseys"

"They were"

P.O "Ahh sure I know them boys well, theyre harmless enough, and tell me did the ould gent have a grey beard" ?

"He did"

P.O " Thatll be ould John Thompson, hes too ould to catch the sheep"

......................

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Welshman on his driving test and the examiner says "can you make a ewe turn"?

Make it turn he said,I can make its fecking eyes water

 

ride safe Rod

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