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dishonorable discharge


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An Army Sgt. Major walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says, "My name is Sgt. Major Dick and I'm here for a woman!" The madam immediately escorts the soldier upstairs and selects the best girl they have for him.


Sgt. Major Dick immediately disrobes and is standing with his hands on his hips while he looks at the prostitute awaiting him on the bed. He then says, "My name is Sgt. Major Dick, been in the Army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, ATTEN-HUN!" Immediately, his penis becomes fully erect. The prostitute is in awe and asks him how he can do that.


The Sgt. Major replies, "Like I said, I've been in the Army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, AT EASE!" His penis immediately goes limp. The prostitute still can't get over the control he has and asks him for another demonstration.


The Sgt. Major says, "I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, ATTEN-HUN!" (a raging hard-on once again), and he follows this display of prowess with the command of, "DICK, AT EASE!" (His penis goes limp once again). The prostitute still can't believe her eyes and asks for the demonstration yet again.


The Sgt. Major shouts, "I've already told you honey, I've been in the Army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, ATTEN-HUN!" His penis becomes immediately erect, and then he gives the following command, "DICK, AT EASE."


The Sgt. Major looks down, and to his amazement, his penis is still hard. He then says, "Apparently you didn't hear me soldier, DICK, AT EASE!" Once again, his penis is still fully erect. The Sgt. Major is now fuming, and says, "I'm going to tell you one more time, DICK, AT EASE!"


No luck, his penis is still hard. He yells, "Damn it!" and moves to the side of the bed and starts to masturbate vigorously. The prostitute asks, "What the hell is going on?" The Sgt. Major replies, "This soldier disobeyed a direct order, and I'm giving him a dishonorable discharge!"

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Picture the scene

Bitterley cold, barracks and aparade, new commandos.


Attention and a row of the best stand motionless.


Men strip off, total naked.


Major hits a man hard, did that hurt, no Sir im a commando.


More episodes of brutality.


Finally near the end of the row the major sees a giant chopper sticking out from a soldiers groin, a quick swish with his cain on the object and no reaction.


Soldier did that hurt, no Sir why not!, because it was the fellas behind Sir!.


Brings tears to your eyes.



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Carrying on the Military theme.


Two Chief Petty officers of the Royal Navy went to the Captain to request to sign on for a further 10 years.

The Captain said that the new rules in the RN were that anyone signing on had to be able to fit through the escape scuttle (Porthole) which would be the route for the crew to escape should the ship founder.

Both the chiefs had large beer guts and it was deemed that they would get stuck. The Captain (kind man) suggested they had 2 weeks to slim down.


Walking through Portsmouth on leave, they spied a sign saying "Guaranteed 1 stone weight loss in 2 hours". This could just be the answer, they both went in.


The lady behind the counter said that there were two options. Option one, costs £50 and guarantees a 1 stone weight loss or money refunded. Option two costs £100 and guarantees 2 stone weight loss. Which option would they like. The first chief elected to have Option one (just to see if it was successful). The lady said go through into the lounge, take off all your clothes and wait, someone will be in to see you shortly.

In he goes, the room had a large table in the middle. He takes off all his clothes and sits and waits. In through another door enters a beautiful young lady, with a body to die for. " Right Chief, if you can catch me, you can do what ever you like to me". With that the young lady starts running around the table. The Chief in pursuit.


After 2 hours the Chief re-enters the waiting area, is weighed and sure enough he has lost 1 stone in weight. The second Chief and his colleague now wants to know everything. Having heard the story he thinks, if thats the £50 option one, I wonder what is involved in Option two offering 2 stone loss and gets very excited at the thought. He goes to the counter and orders Option Two and pays his £100. "Go into the Lounge, take off all your clothes and wait, someone will be with you shortly" says the receptionist.


After a short while, the Chief is naked and waiting in a high status of anticipation for what is about to happen when in walks a naked 7ft negro, with a hard dick over 18inches long in his hand - "OK Chief, get running".





Sorry about the language guys , but it needed to be said.




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