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I was embarassed


yoda

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I was in a restaraunt this morning when I had a severe need to pass gas . The music was really loud so I timed my fart with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs and several farts later I began to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me........

Then I suddenly remembered I was listening to my iPod

 

(wasnt really me )

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Guest dave turbo g

Some moment are just priceless !!!!

 

I remember when i was fitting windows

The fixed pain window was too large to take upstairs, we managed the frame but the double glazed unit had to go in from the outside.

We had glass suckers on the the inside for the guys waiting in the room, 2 ropes around the unit pulling up,

Rich & i were on wooden ladders sliding the unit up

As we reached the window frame we had to take the full weight while the ropes were taken off

The strain was too much for me & i let rip the guy inside didn't see the lady stood behind him & burst out laughing i kept straight faced

 

The lady phoned our boss & said the guy who laughed was uncouth & was not aloud in the house ever again

 

Dave G

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When i was an undertaker the four of us had a coffin on our shoulders standing just inside the church while the priest blessed the coffin.

I just could not hold this rip snorter in no longer and let rip.... well that was it......

We had to hold in a terrible fit of giggles while we walked pretty fast down the ailse. We placed it on the trestles and walked very fast out the church!

And just burst out laughing!

My dad was not amused as he was conducting the funeral... but in the end saw the funny side.

 

There were no complaints from anyone

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Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

 

Ray, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

 

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

 

Ray, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"

"Hmm," says the Doctor,

 

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

 

Ray is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

 

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."

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