Geoff Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 Banned from ASDA - Didn't like shopping there anyway! Yesterday I was at my local ASDA buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Winalot Diet again.. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish setter’s arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from ASDA Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 wuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 looooooooooooool, very good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dave turbo g Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 Don't take any notice of the Asda staff, there bark is worse then there bite Dave G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 Banned from Asda?? Myself & a friend were at a music festival,I said to her "They are a band from Cambridge". She said "Why, what did they do". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikerBob Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 Hi, Yes nice one Geoff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Yep I like it. Some are more tasty than others and can confirm that the bone shaped are a great snack. Better still if dunked!. Took some to work in a plastic tube and ate them in front of others, no more do they ask for the home made cake. Also enjoy rabbit droppings thats what I call raisins, keeps things all piecfull at the work dinner table. Offer raisens and then tell people that the old guy in the nursing home used to give them to the wife then tell them they used to be choc raisens. Gives you apresence of of your own. Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeteG_CX500 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Ewwwww! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericry Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Or get some salted peanuts and rinse them under the tap to get the salt off. Leave them in a bowl on the table. After people have tried a few tell them they're whats left of the chocolate and peanut M&M's as you dont really like peanuts so you just suck the chocolate off !! Eric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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