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UK CLASSIFIED ADS


Guest Bionic

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UK CLASSIFIED ADS

 

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:

 

 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old.

Hateful little bastard.

Bites!

 

FREE PUPPIES.

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

 

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

 

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

 

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

 

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.

Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie.

 

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

 

Statement of the Century

Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker.

 

Billy Connolly -

Statement of the Century: "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

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