Jump to content

Golf Course sign+


BikerBob

Recommended Posts

Hi all, Another one for you at Xmas

 

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK:

 

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT.

2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.

 

4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

 

7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG,

LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU

8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY

IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS

ARE PREPARING.

 

10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

 

WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL,

GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

 

Did I read that sign right?

Keep going there is more!

 

 

 

 

In an office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

 

 

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

 

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

 

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

 

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

 

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

 

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

 

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

 

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

 

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

 

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Old golfers never die, they just loose there balls.

 

The meek shall rule the world, if thats ok with everybody else

 

Father Christmas comes once a year.

 

Virginity is rather like a balloon, one prick and its gone!.

 

Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest dave turbo g

Sign on a bike workshop wall

 

LABOUR CHARGES £15 per hr

£20 if you watch

£25 if you help

 

In other words GTFO

 

Dave G 8)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...