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A smile for breakfast.


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Hi all,



The other evening we were dressed and ready to go out for a Dinner & Theatre.


We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet budgie and put the cat in the backyard and phoned the local Taxi company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.


As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house.

We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to get at the budgie.


My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.


Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. so, she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother."


A few minutes later, I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away.

"That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out!

She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.

But it worked! I hauled her fat arse downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!


................She'd better not sh*t in the vegetable garden again either!"


The silence in the Taxi was deafening

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Guest dave turbo g

Nice one Bob :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


On a more serious note,

A guy at work had tickets to a show.

He ordered a Taxi as he intended to have a few drinks & a meal after the show.

The taxi arrived on time, driver asked where are you going, to the Theatre Royal to see a show.

They arrived early & decided to have a drink in the bar first.

He found he had picked up the tickets but not his wallet, as they were going for a meal his wife was worried she had not got enough money on her to cover the drinks & meal :?

They still had 20 min before the show started, he said he would get a taxi home & be back only missing a few minutes of the show.

When he got home there was a taxi in his drive :shock: the same one he got into town :x

He told the driver to block the car in, the first taxi driver had broken in & was caught red handed.

The police said, best to get a taxi down the road & just give them your mobile number & not address.

He was prosecuted after he left hospital, well he fell over trying to get away Officer :twisted:


Dave G 8)


A lesson there for all of us :roll:

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