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Pulled by the Fuzz

John Mac

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A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:


Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Biker: I don't have one. I had it take away when I got my 5th drink driving.


Officer: May I see the V5 for this vehicle?

Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.


Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the V5 in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.


Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?

Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the bloke who owns this bike and stuffed his drugs in the saddle bags.


Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?

Biker: Yes, sir.


Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his seargent. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the seargent approached the biker to handle the tense situation:


seargent: Sir, can I see your license?

Biker: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.


seargent: Who's motorcycle is this?

Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the V5.


seargent: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.


seargent: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.

Biker: No problem.

The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.


seargent: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.

Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

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Loved it.


Here is an old one - Two prostitutes walking down the street. One says to the other "have you been picked up by the fuzz recently"?


The other replies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"No! But I have been swung round by the tits a few times"!!!

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