Guest Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 The Stranded Irishman One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a desert island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?" "Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!" "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!" Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. ''Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!" At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FRAN C Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 This has to be a lie..... Paddies dont smoke cigars........ they smoke pipes. Ye might try & cod us with that old Bushmill's stuff............. but we know real whiskey when we taste it. As for Golf, sure aint that a ladies game ?............. we play Hurling with the aul ash stick, :wink: But we have been known to play around. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Silverwing Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 The Stranded Irishman Adam, I have done a bit of editing for you ............................. One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a desert island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good pull on a pipe?" " Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a pipe and fresh package of tobacco and a lighter. He took the pipe, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Ara Jeeeses!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!" "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of the quare stuff?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!" Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. ''Tis quare stuff alright!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis feckin mighty!!!" At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me you've got a hurl and a slitir in there too!" Hows that for ye Fran ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FRAN C Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Go to bed ya daft bugger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericry Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Sliothar....ya bloody jezebel....your irish teacher would disown ya ! Eric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Sliothar....ya bloody jezebel....your irish teacher would disown ya ! Eric. Eric, my Irish teacher did disown me - really, no messin. He wouldnt speak to me for years after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericry Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Buachaill dana !! Eric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts